A Week After Release + Process + Lyrics + Thoughts

Well. There goes my first release! I don't have much to say, but I am very much grateful for everyone that gave it a listen.

So far, as this is being written, this was what I was greeted with looking at my Spotify stats:

(Month of August 2021)

These are super exciting!

It's still a struggle, but, this was honestly worth 2 years of constant disappointments and what nots.

For those of you who have listened to it: THANK YOU!

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I want people to think of their own meaning for this song. But here are just some "small" tidbits and thoughts I had writing this song:

I was in my bedroom, laying down on the carpet floor. Frustrated about the predicament that I'm in. To be healthy, I know I need to interact with people. With this effort, I turned into befriending people that I can't match with. The energy spent in this effort began to be exhausting. This has also unlocked memories and feelings that I have been keeping in.

The fact is, I tend to walk blindly towards people who can't reciprocate back. Whether it's my choices or whether it's the toxicity of my actions (or the constant blaming thereof)— I don't know for sure.

Maybe my trust is just fragile, but after several and major failed attempts at establishing deeper connections (and being disappointed at them when it fails), I began to feel more and more closed off from everything.

I feel like, I always meet someone that I adore— and sometimes to the point of worship (which is BAD). These people come along, and they tend to astound me. They lower my defenses. In my desperation, I always tend to ask them the same question internally. That questions always seems to be something along the lines of "Do you want to get out of here? I never knew how I got into this mess, but I'm tired of it. If you want, I can leave this all behind to start something new with you."

This seems to be a cycle. To everyone I meet this way, or at least those that failed— I realized that looking back, I tend to do something of the sort.

So there I was, on the carpet floor, wanting yet another fresh experience with someone: I sat up, and wrote this song. A song about this destructive yet often repeatable cycle I tend to have with someone.

So I wrote the following:

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Menagerie

Take a look inside

The menagerie's alright

If you give me time

I will seal them up and never let anyone inside

I will lock them up

Though I still won't understand

Why I can't just love

Why I keep on loving butterflies who just feeds on blood

So if you wanted to stay

Just leave your wristband—escape this way

I'm drained from working graves

I don't like what I have here anyway

I never can discern

What is it with me stretching out my hands to wild animals

Graze my hands without an antidote

So if you wanted to stay

Just leave your wristband—escape this way

I'm drained from working graves

I don't like what I have here anyway

So if you wanted to stay

I might just ask you to go away

There's wilds they can't contain

This might be my cage

Come get me out of this place

And let us flee this menagerie

Come get me out of this place

And let us flee this menagerie

Come get me out of this place (If you find a place, we could run away)

And let us flee this menagerie (To a kinder place, take it all away)

Come get me out of this place (If you find a place, we could run away)

And let us flee this menagerie (To a kinder place, take it all away)

So if you wanted to stay

I never know what to always say

Come get me out post-haste

I don't like what I have here anyway

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Well, there you have it. Some tidbits of why I wrote the song.

If you meet me in person, feel free to ask me full explanations of what the song means to me. I will gladly tell you my thoughts about it.

As a side note for this time:

Before their rise in popularity, I've always been interested in low fidelity (lofi) music and their subcultures.

One that really stayed with me are "slowed + reverb" versions of songs.

Maybe some people think that it's a perversion of someone's piece of music— but honestly, for me, I really love them.

So for those who enjoy the same, I added a remix of Menagerie slowed and reverbed.

If you're into that, go check it out:

Menagerie Slowed + Reverb Remix

That's it for now!

Thanks for reading kyddo!